i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I could fuck to npr.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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