The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
