Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
