i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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