i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
