He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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