Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
