dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
