Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The air was thick with penises
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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