I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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