So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
