I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
