Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
