Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
