The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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