Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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