well you can't waste a boner
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
