Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
