i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
