What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
