I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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