"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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