I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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