he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
