after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
