you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
