Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
