dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
