I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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