Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
