If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize