Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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