From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
