if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
