if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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