We're like a lot better than the average bears
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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