Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I need to align my fucking chakras
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
