This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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