Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
