What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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