So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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