There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
high people should be assigned attendants
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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