YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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