I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
