things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
