I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
