Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
