he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
