Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
