forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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