Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
