Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
