This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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