Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
