Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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