my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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