The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
