Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
