I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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