Plan B is the new Plan A
its not stalking. its research.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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