Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
