Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
