the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
