shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
This is the high leading the old right now
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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