You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
