I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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