Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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