Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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