Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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