I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
