hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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