WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
