? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
