no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize