How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize