He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize